So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
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WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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