Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Randomize
Follow @tfln