tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit