i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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