I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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