we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
