were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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