I feel great
I just peed on a car
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I didn't notice because vodka
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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