my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Yo dont text me then not text me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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