Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
