Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I could fuck to npr.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
