Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think my moral compass just broke
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
