In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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