hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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