They should really pass out barf bags in church
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
