People with herpes should wear stickers.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize