Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
