what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
