So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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