And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I will be naked everywhere
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think my moral compass just broke
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
