you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
