Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
