I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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