her vagine was all disorganized.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
