just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
