I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's just like the Real World with babies
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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