I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize