y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize