i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
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You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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