why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
