Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
