My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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