I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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