I'm laying in your front yard are you home
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
