See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
