I'm jealous of your bromance
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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