just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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