ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
