they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
