I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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