So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
