carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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