He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize