also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
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Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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