halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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