kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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