writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
