I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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