zippers are such a cool invention
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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