Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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