How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
