kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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