You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize