she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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