I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she looked like the before picture.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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