I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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